Today, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the May 2015 cover of Essence Magazine which features five black women; Shonda Rhimes, Debbie Allen, Issa Rae, Ava DuVernay, and Mara Brock Akil.

ac·knowl·edge
əkˈnäləj/
verb
1. accept or admit the existence or truth of.
2. (of a body of opinion) recognize the fact or importance or quality of.

I posted the above photo on Instagram with this caption:

When you realize a huge hole in your being has been filled by this moment, this cover, this inspiration because it’s basically the cover, the inspiration you’ve wanted and needed to see (for so many reasons) your whole life. It might seem like a small thing but just seeing this image of hope and accomplishment and so many things from these black women means so so much to me. It’s affirming in a way I can’t fully explain but I’m so happy about this cover. Also, side note, I totally spilled 1/3 of the coolata on my bed by mistake so…

So in an effort to elaborate on the above, let’s start with the first definition of acknowledge. When I saw this cover, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I love me and accept all of me just the way I am because I am Psalm 139:14 and if the younger version of me could see me now, she would be absolutely astonished. She would wonder how I did it. Because I wondered for so many years what it would be like to be a white woman with thick, long, flowing hair, with privilege, and with so many other things (all of which is a lot to unpack individually so I won’t go into all of that). Long story short, I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin and couldn’t fully see how blessed I was already.

Which brings me to number two. When I was younger, I didn’t see in the public eye many pillars of inspiration that were reflections of me (black girl) which, whether you like it or not, is actually very significant and important because of the influence the media has (on children especially). It was hard growing up as a writer with no black women writers on my radar because I didn’t have a general image to look to in regards to seeing how to do it right, what to do, what not to do, etc… and everybody doesn’t need that. In fact, I didn’t even think about it back then and as I got older, I didn’t think I needed it because I was enough, I pushed myself, and I had my head on straight and I just knew that I was going to make it and the thing is, I still believe that I will but the problem is there’s simply too much “I” in my way of thinking. These women on this cover have done so much for so many others and that selflessness and compassion and kindness and genuine acts of simply being there for this community of black women and diverse storytelling period…it’s humbling.

This cover… it’s what I’ve been missing, what I’ve been waiting for my whole life and I didn’t even know I was waiting. It shows beautiful, strong, hopeful, passionate, patient, persevering, selfless, accomplished black women and as soon as I saw it, a voice in my head told me this is my reflection and isn’t that such a wonderful thing? Yes, indeed it is. It’s everything.

So much so that it’s difficult for me to accurately put into words how much or all that it means to me. Just know that the peace of mind that flowed over me was all consuming when I saw this cover. It was the aha moment that I didn’t know I needed. A moment I thought I had already dealt with in my heart only to discover that I had only touched the surface.

In Delirium: Love Lessons, I talked about fear. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of asking too much. Fear of failure. Fear of failing at love. And so many other things and I had to read that post again when I saw this cover because it’s all part of the same puzzle for me. The puzzle in which I’m constantly trying to fit the pieces where I think they should go and tossing the extra pieces away that I think are trickery but really I’m only tricking myself because I’ve realized that I can still love myself and not accept all of me and wow, isn’t that a troubling thing when you’re trying to grow and you’re fixing and tinkering with the wrong parts? It can be so damaging when I’m condemning myself (without even realizing it) instead of convicting or neither when it’s not even needed which is why I am writing this to acknowledge the damage that’s been done and refuse to allow more to be done. What I can control, I will and what I need to surrender, I will. I am so ready.

Yes, I knew these things before but something about seeing these women on the cover of a magazine made it really click. And I know that if it clicked for me, it clicked for someone else. And part of me wishes I had sat down earlier in the week to write this so that I could tweet this message #TotheGirls but I’m here now and I want to tell you, reading this right now, that you are enough, you matter, and you are here for more than yourself, you really can touch the world, even moreso when you’re coming from a place of love and isn’t that so beautiful?

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P.S. earlier this year, I started a list of Black Screenwriters on Twitter so if you know anyone that needs to be on this list, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. Thank you.