Last year, The Real Housewives of New Jersey premiered with incredible ratings and the finale as well as reunion show left so much for viewers to talk about until the Season 2 premiere this year (May 4th). Though until May comes around, Danielle Staub had quite a few things to say in this exclusive interview about Season 1, each of the Jersey housewives, her upcoming book, The Naked Truth, and so much more. Check it out.
After watching the first season, what would you say you wish would have been shown that was edited in a way that made a certain situation seem biased to a certain side?
I think that anybody that was watching couldn’t possibly comprehend unless you are me what it is like to be a single mom, with 2 beautiful daughters who were standing close by while you are being called horrific names by women who are passing judgment and then people are siding with them. I don’t think that they edited it properly to show that my kids were standing right there. To show a 4 minute clip of a 4 hour thrashing upon oneself with your children present, that really doesn’t do it justice. To be perfectly honest with you…when I say this, I say it with all clarity…those women are not anyone that I would like to be saying to my children, “Now there’s an example of good parenting.”
So I take it your relationship with the ladies (Jacqueline, Teresa, Dina, and Caroline) is the same as it was last year?
It is safe to say that I don’t want a relationship with them. I learned a lot from watching the show about the kind of people that I don’t want to be around…I’ve never in my 47 years witnessed any woman behave the way that they do. They’re animals. It’s like being in an insane asylum with no medication.
When did you decide that you wanted to write a memoir?
It’s amazing because I sort of lived my life and left it in the past for a reason because 1986 is a long time ago. Not hiding from my past, it’s just a past. A past is a part of you but you don’t live in it, otherwise you don’t move forward. When these women made it an ever present part of my no, I decided that if they’re taking such great interest in it, how about it be told by the person who actually lived it, rather than some insane character who wrote a book about me as a jilted ex… I’m going to tell my story the way that it happened. If you didn’t live it, it is not yours to speak of.
Would you say this is a response book from the book that was written about you?
Absolutely not…when you write a book about somebody else, it’s kind of just their opinion and what Caroline throws around as heresy… He didn’t live my life. I know the intimate details of my life better than anyone. That’s what led me to writing my memoir. Plus, Simon & Schuster and the publishing houses that approached me for book deals – there were 6 publishing houses that made me believe that this might be worth something. It wasn’t something I sat down one day and thought, “I’m going to write my life story.” Episode 2, I was approached and by episode 4, I signed. By the end of the season, I was doing proposals for a book deal and by July, I had a book deal with Simon & Schuster…there was a bidding war for my book, and it’s not a cookbook. I didn’t steal someone else’s recipes and pretend to cook them. This is my life. I will challenge any of them to cook one recipe in their cookbooks and explain how it’s done without a frying pan in front of them. I’ll challenge them to that.
You are hilarious.
Let’s just say that they did not portray who Danielle really is. What the world saw was me standing there with my jaw dropped and retaining my dignity and grace because my children were present. You don’t hear me curse, you don’t hear me yell at people…you don’t hear me saying, “I’m classy.” Because you don’t have to you talk about being classy. People will see it if you are.
Are you going to let your children read your book?
My children at this point have absolutely no choice but to be apart of the writing process because I’ve done a book that would normally take a year and a half – two years in under 6 months. It has taken a lot of time from them. Have they heard the things that are going into t, the editing, and everything else that is going on? No, not really. But there are certain parts of the book that absolutely involved them because it is my life story up until now. Do I think that it is necessary for my 11 year old to be handed a copy from her Mommy? No. Will I say that they are forbidden to read it? Absolutely not. But my children are pretty good. When I say that they are not ready for something, they usually don’t test the waters.
In the first season, we saw a lot of arguments and a lot of tension. Do you feel that hopefully in the next season we will see a more laid back side of you?
You know what’s funny, I didn’t really have arguments or tension. I didn’t yell or scream, I just walked into the lion’s den constantly and had people talk badly about me when I wasn’t even there.
What about the tension at the party when you invited everyone to your house and they were laughing and talking under their breath?
Here’s the thing. When people say I’m so tense, no, I just stood by and observed people I didn’t know and their behaviors. I only draw my conclusions upon my own experiences with somebody and I learned the hard way, which you’ll find out very soon to come that you should never draw conclusions on people based on other people’s issues with those people. I found it really interesting that all of them used my little tiny body frame to hide behind. They had to dig a few years back and saw that I was a good mom, had great kids with honor students, single and hanging onto that house that she has lived in for 16 years and raised her kids on, country club member, involved with the Catholic church…they found all of those things out but that’s not what they were looking for, so they dug 10 years back and though, “Nope, still getting the same good stuff,” so they went back 20 years back, “Nope, nothing still”, so 25 years back, “Oh there’s something, she as arrested.” They thought to make this single mom with no husband to stand by her side and take care of her and no family to speak of the focal point of what she did in 1986…and the whole world watched. Quite a few people came running to my side acknowledging that they have had problems too. Has anybody even focused on the fact Jacqueline has a record? Where did Teresa live when we were shooting season one? Then as soon as they moved in, the house was in foreclosure. If they had all that money, how come everyone is suing them for the work they did on the house? If they are so wealthy, why is her husband hitting telephone poles at 2am instead of being home with her and her 4 children – instead of hiring a driver to drive him home? It’s out there on TMZ but nobody cares because Jacqueline’s out there saying, “That’s not the way it happened.” Why aren’t they getting asked the way that I got asked a million times? If they are going to accuse me of being responsible for their misery, then I’m going to take credit for being responsible for their happiness. You can’t have one without the other.
You touched on my next question when you said many people have approached you saying that they have problems too. Do your acquaintances treat you any differently since the show premiered?
My friends are all new. These women I knew for 5 minutes. You don’t get to know my life story in 5 minutes. That’s like me never being on TV, you and I sitting down next to each other at a restaurant, you telling me, “I live your shoes” and me saying, “I was arrested in 1986.” That’s the same situation. Why would I tell anybody that I just met that I was arrested? If you don’t like me now then you won’t like what I did in my past. If you get to know me, like me, have gotten into my heart, and I have gotten into your heart, you have every right to know where I have been. But when we are new friends and you feel that you “deserve to know” as Teresa put it, Caroline, “I’m going to investigate you before I get to know you”…don’t toot your horn to hard honey. They can hide all they want but eventually, everyone is going to be exposed.
Do you have an opinion about The Real Housewives of NYC, Atlanta, and OC?
I absolutely do. They are incredible. They bring a little bit of drama that is real but guess what? They can all sit down and literally have cutting utensils in front of them and not be tempted to use them on one another. Whereas these crazy women on Jersey think it’s a really good thing to be attacking me. I’ve met and seen the other housewives in public and they are really nice. Even though they may not like each other, they can still be around each other without picking on each other and being nasty. These women out here are downright nasty. I guess they feel they are better than me and I don’t know what gives them that idea because not one of them has an honor student except me. You don’t see my kids running around the store ripping prices tags off of things, Teresa. You don’t see mine talking about Trekkies and me calling them stupid. You don’t hear one of mine calling me a crackhead on national television. But people will sit and judge me and think everything must be true because Jacqueline, Teresa, Dina, and Caroline said so? Hello Dina, I’m obsessed with you, really? Is it the fake teeth, nose job, boob jobs, tummy tuck…are those the things I want? How about I ask my sister to find me a husband so I can move out of her house. Caroline can paint the picture any way she wants to but I will give her all of the colors so she can paint it properly.
This is so much to take in.
People didn’t get to know me. That was just me going, my kids are here right now, I’m not going to talk and you’re calling me a prostitute? All I have to say is, if we keep them really busy, I can actually get on and keep living my life. Because they weren’t part of my life prior to taping this show. I thought taping this show would be a fun thing to do with my kids since I had recently gone through a horrible divorce and didn’t know how to be single. When these women told me that they were going to make me part of their lives and we were going to have fun…who does all of this to people, let alone a single mom? Between the lot of them they have 11 children so I don’t know how they have so much time to focus on me and then tell the world that I’m obsessed with them. One of my dearest friends is Dina’s ex sister in law. I never had to ask a question about anything because they don’t take to them either. What people don’t realize is that people come to me and say, “I can’t believe they said that about you, did you know this about them?” I’m not asking and they don’t hold back, whereas they felt the need to investigate me. Rest assured, there is no good blood between me and those women.
That puts a cap on season one and why I am writing the book. I would like people to really know about me. If I can help people through my own experiences and feel a little better about themselves, why shouldn’t I use it to do some good? I have a favorite quote from Emily Dickinson, “If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” Perhaps I can achieve that because I have been at heartbreak hotel for a long time but I’m not anymore…and instead of tearing other people down like those women did to me…you don’t see me throwing the first blow but I’m not going stand here and let those women wipe their feet on me. That goes for anybody else. You know, instead of tearing each other down, we should be lifting each other up and I say that from the bottom of my heart. I am working on myself and I try to be a better me every day. As far as the show goes, they want drama but it doesn’t have to cost me my integrity, dignity, or respect.
Do you hope the housewives read your book and have more clarity on who you are?
No. They weren’t part of my life prior to the show or now. It’s not written for them or about them. It’s not a housewife book. You know, I was blessed to have survived the expose that those people did on me. It’s all over the internet but watch how Google alerts change as my book comes out. It’s not easy to know that someone can Google me and prostitute comes up. That’s not right. Even though I was arrested, nobody realizes that I plead guilty for one thing and that was extortion. It doesn’t mean that I was guilty of any of those charges but I was there. Either that or face 19 years for each of those indictments. Who wouldn’t take a plea bargain? So I did. I did 5 years probation for that. The ladies said that I kidnapped a little boy. They mentioned that and let people’s imagination run. I was 23 years old and he was 28 years old. He wasn’t a little boy. It’s amazing what I’ve had to defend. It’s been frustrating and hurtful. Also, I love my children and I spend every moment I have with my kids and I don’t bring men home. I have been single for a year and a half, celebant, and now abstinent for 8 months. That doesn’t suggest that I have a lot of people coming around. I really am doing this because I am going to be married the next time that I am with someone and that is a serious commitment that I don’t take lightly. I want people to draw their own conclusions by really getting to know me and hopefully they can see that in my book and in the changes I am making in my life.
One of the NYC housewives is posing for Playboy. If you were offered would you say yes?
I am dying to do Playboy. I am probably the only Jersey housewife that would be considered because have you seen the rest of them? (laughs) For me, it’s not about having people look at my body, it’s about empowering women. I’m 47 years old with 2 kids and I feel very happy with myself, enough that I am willing to bare it all. And how fitting when my book is named, “The Naked Truth.” I’ve bared it all there, I can bare it all here. It’s something I will be very proud of, not if I get asked but when. (laughs)
Where are your favorite places to go and what are your favorite things to do in New Jersey?
I don’t go out a lot and when I do it’s with my kids, so there are a few restaurants that I enjoy. But I spend a lot of time in New York. Lately I have been working on my book, beyond 12 hour days, so it’s difficult to pin point the restaurants at this point. When I go out, I go to St. Regis in NY. I love NJ though because it is peaceful and a pleasant place to raise your children but I love Manhattan for its art and history.
In what ways are you giving back to your community?
I am very involved with my church. I am a devout Catholic. I go to mass every Sunday. There are a lot of people in my community who have asked me to help out with certain charities, like Friends of Wayne Animals, and fundraisers. I like local charities so I can get my kids involved. My daughter is a long distance track runner and ran with Corzine in the last 5k. We do everything as a family when it comes to charity events. I am giving back to the community on a daily basis no matter where I am and where I go. I try to always stay in a positive state of mind and if you were to look at my Facebook or Twitter, there is nothing but positive posts up there because that is the way that I live my life.
Season 2 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey featuring Danielle Staub premieres May 4, 2010 on Bravo.
I am so taken back by Danielle's behavior that I have to say something. There is no reasoning with someone who is seriously insane. And no matter how much she tries to appear normal…she screws it up two seconds later with some new drama. If she really wants to be done with the other housewives…then she should leave them alone. She keeps it going and going. I have no idea why. No one does. Yes…Ashley should not have pulled her hair…but Danielle would have showed real restraint if she would have dropped the whole thing. I knew she wouldn't because she cannot help herself. A 18 year old girl (Ashley) pulled Danielle's hair after Danielle had been the source of major chaos within her family. I mean…just let it go Danielle. Seriously…can she ever just turn it off….EVER. I feel like I am becoming a little crazier watching all of this take place every week. Danielle…if you ever read this…you really need help. And I ain't talking about sitting with a priest where you are making up how violent the other housewives are. You actually need help. Maybe you should check yourself in somewhere. People are freaked out by you. And you are the violent person with the axe to grind…not the other ladies. I have no idea why I am wasting my time writing this. I don't even know this person and she gets my blood boiling like no other. I wish I could take Dina's place so I could have a word with her myself. My hubby's a doc…who knows….maybe it will happen someday. 🙂