Audiobook Review: Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner

Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner
Narrated By: Michael Crouch
Release Date: March 7, 2017
Publisher: Crown Books for Young Readers / Listening Library
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
ISBN: 978-0553524062
Running Time: 10 hours and 45 minutes
Source: Received From Publisher
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What if you could spend one last day with someone you lost?

One day Carver Briggs had it all—three best friends, a supportive family, and a reputation as a talented writer at his high school, Nashville Academy for the Arts.

The next day he lost it all when he sent a simple text to his friend Mars, right before Mars, Eli, and Blake were killed in a car crash.

Now Carver can’t stop blaming himself for the accident, and he’s not the only one. Eli’s twin sister is trying to freeze him out of school with her death-ray stare. And Mars’s father, a powerful judge, is pressuring the district attorney to open a criminal investigation into Carver’s actions.

Luckily, Carver has some unexpected allies: Eli’s girlfriend, the only person to stand by him at school; Dr. Mendez, his new therapist; and Blake’s grandmother, who asks Carver to spend a Goodbye Day with her to share their memories and say a proper goodbye to his friend.

Soon the other families are asking for a Goodbye Day with Carver, but he’s unsure of their motives. Will they all be able to make peace with their losses, or will these Goodbye Days bring Carver one step closer to a complete breakdown or—even worse—prison?

***

Wow. Goodbye Days is definitely every bit of heavy that you imagine it to be. And for me, I could not pick up the pieces of my heart while reading about a kid, Carver, who texted his best friend only to have that friend text him back while driving, thus getting into a car accident and killing themselves and their two other best friends, and Carver being blamed for their deaths. That did not sit well with me at all. You’re grieving your three best friends and on top of that, the entire town is blaming you for their deaths. Cannot deal. The whole situation is enraging. Do not text and drive, people. Whatever you have to say is not worth a life (or lives). Reading and/or replying to a text can wait. So if you’re driving, wait. And if you’re waiting for a response, just wait!

Putting my anger and frustration over that entire situation aside, wow. What a book. What a book. This is such a poignant story about the weight of accountability and death, about grief and loneliness, redemption and hope. It’s about secrets and truth telling, only knowing part of someone for their entire life and the life that comes out after death.

What’s so wonderful about this story is that it is about life as much as it is about death and the aftermath. I really enjoyed getting to know Carver and his friends, the latter through Carver’s memories. I loved, loved, loved this positive representation of a group of boys and friendship and the sense of belonging and innocence. These boys made ma laugh aloud on numerous occasions and the joy that their friendship exudes is contagious. I also really appreciated how diverse the cast of characters are. Mars is black and his portrayal is great. And there’s Blake… there comes a timely point on the novel where Carver grapples with telling Blake’s grandmother that her dead grandson was not straight and figuring things out for himself. Oh man, oh man, oh man, this story does not shy away at all from incredibly tough decision making. Whether during a goodbye day (taking a day to spend doing everything you would have done if you had one last day with your loved one/doing all of your loved ones’s favorite things) or during another now average day filled with anxiety over possibly being charged with your friends’ deaths. Tough decisions are what this book is all about in more ways than one and no punches are pulled here. Speaking of anxiety, I loved the way the author describes a panic attack as being buried alive and falling through ice. So accurate. Thank you for that.

In regards to difficult decision making, what’s so fascinating to see here is the execution of the power of silence. Whether Carver is being hounded by a reporter, with his lawyer being questioned, or with the loved one of one of his friends, silence is so much harder than speaking up and often times, remaining silent is the better decision to make. Seeing that here was so refreshing and I loved it so, so much.

So one of Carver’s best friends has made a respectable name for himself on YouTube. Can we take a moment to acknowledge how jarring it would be to one day go to one of your regular YouTuber’s pages only to find their latest video is of their grandmother saying they died and here is a video in their memory?! Like. What. Oh my God. I’m a regular YouTube viewer so this element of the story also stirred me indeed.

Back to the other best friend, Mars. Mars’s father takes Carver to church on their goodbye day and can I just say how much I loved this moment. You may or may not be surprised with how often some pastors spend their sermons condemning certain people (consider these subtweets in long form) or defending personal drama (with or without subtext) rather than, you know, talking about Jesus. I can only imagine how much more magnified this problem is in small towns but this whole scene gives me a glimpse and it’s gross but it’s so real and I really appreciated this. I love Jesus and absolutely loathe the politics of religion and this scene was a fine example of one of the many reasons why. Great scene.

Also, I loved the author’s attention to detail. He described the church by writing, “it reeks of Graham crackers, glue, and old carpet,” which yes oh my God, I know that church smell and that couldn’t be anymore correct Ah, memories ha ha ha. Anyway, overall, I really loved how distinct not only each goodbye day was but each of the families that Carver spent time with. Which is so important, especially in looking back at a person’s life and seeing how unique they were…what’s great about the goodbye days is that we also get to see how unique we are to each other, here and now. It was so beautiful.

On a random note, since I’m all over the place here… I loved the shout outs to Rent, Parnassus Books, and Watchmen in this novel! All worthy of getting such love, might I add.

I listened to the audiobook which is narrated by Michael Crouch. He also narrated Zentner’s debut novel, The Serpent King which I now have high on my TBR list, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli which I didn’t listen to but read and loved. He’s been in the ensemble cast of a number of YA audiobooks and he’s also narrated Schizo: A Novel by Nic Sheff and Conviction by Kelly Loy Gilbert which are both on my list of books to read so perhaps I will listen to them! Anyway, the audiobook is so gripping and absolutely fantastic. Definitely worth listening to.

I fear this jumbled review is not doing the book justice. It’s been days since I’ve finished this book and I still don’t quite know how to put into words how much this story moved me. So if this is on your list of books to read or seems like something you would want to read, definitely pick this up and feel all of the feels for yourself because it’s truly one story you don’t want to miss.

My Favorite Lines:

* This fly is alive and Blake is dead.

* I’m too spent. I have no energy for the truth, no place left to put it.

* A beautiful funeral for your best friend is a species of drinking a delicious poison or being bitten by a majestic tiger.

* I wonder if the actions we take and the words we speak are like throwing pebbles into a pond. They send ripples that extend farther out from the center until finally they break on the bank or disappear.

* I guess guilt doesn’t sleep. It only eats.

* “Carver, you want to go see a movie or something to take your mind off stuff?” Dad asks.

“It won’t help. Thanks though.”

* And if it’s hard to watch me hurting, imagine how the hurting feels.

* Funny how people move through this world leaving little pieces of their story with the people they meet, for them to carry.

* I hope there are beginnings in my future. I’m tired of burying things.

* “Aren’t there medications for panic attacks?”
“There are.”
“Then, why don’t we do that?”

* “Now I want my goodbye day for Thurgood.”
“Your honor, I -”
“This Sunday you will be at my home at 5:30am. You will dress for vigorous physical activity. You will also bring clothes appropriate for church. This is not a throw on your t-shirt, Starbucks church.”

* “Good Lord. Mars’s grandfather marched with Martin Luther King Jr. so that his grandson could chase squirrels around Centennial Park with impunity.”

Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner is available today.