Gardenia by Kelsey Sutton
Release Date: February 28, 2017
Publisher: Diversion Publishing
Genre: Young Adult
ISBN: 978-1626818415
Source: Received ARC From Author
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Seventeen-year-old Ivy Erickson has one month, twenty-seven days, four hours, fifty-nine minutes, and two seconds to live.

Ever since she was a child, Ivy has been able to see countdown clocks over everyone’s heads indicating how long before they will die. She can’t do anything about anyone else’s, nor can she do anything about her own, which will hit the zero hour before she even graduates high school.

A life cut short is tragic, but Ivy does her best to make the most of it. She struggles emotionally with her deep love for on-again, off-again boyfriend Myers Patripski. She struggles financially, working outside of school to help her mom and her sister. And she struggles to cope with the murder of her best friend, another life she couldn’t save. Vanessa Donovan was killed in the woods, and everyone in town believes Ivy had something to do with it.

Then more girls start disappearing. Ivy tries to put her own life in order as she pieces together the truth of who ended Vanessa’s. To save lives and for her own sanity.

The clock is always ticking. And Ivy’s only hope is to expose the truth before it runs out completely.

***

You might remember me gushing about Gardenia by Kelsey Sutton last fall. I gave a mini non-spoilery review then but with the book releasing tomorrow, I can talk about ALL OF THE THINGS. Woo!  Here we go!

Ivy Erickson is a 17-year old high school senior in Kennedy, Minnesota and she has one month twenty-seven days, fours hours, fifty-nine minutes, and two seconds to live. She’s going to die before she graduates high school and she knows this because she can see a timer over everyone’s head which counts down to their time of death. Though when it comes to TV and print, she can’t see the numbers on people. Ah, I love this world building detail, that her seemingly unending gift has its limitations. And that this limitation isn’t necessarily a drawback and moreso a respite or reprieve for her.

One of my favorite moments early on in the book is Ivy recalling the first time she realized what the countdown on people’s foreheads were…which happened to be when she was a toddler in her grandmother’s care for the day. The innocence conveyed here as Ivy, a child thought the countdown was a fun game before the realization came that it was not. Oh, man. This memory took my breath away.

So Hallett Cottages, a nursing home/assisted living facility is the only place in town for the elderly and the place where Ivy has volunteered since she was nine years old…to create happy endings for the elderly as they complete their last chapter…aka to reach the end of their timer. I love, love, love that from the time Ivy lost her grandmother right before her eyes to nine years old, there was such a great acceptance, understanding, and growth for Ivy and she decided, as a child, to use her gift in the best way she knew she could. Here, with the elderly. That is beautiful.

Through Ivy’s interactions with the elderly, who are in their final days, months, and years, we see how differently people take on the world when they know the end is near. And through Ivy and how she takes on the world everyday with her gift, including knowing when she’ll take her own last breath, we discover what we truly want to see, hear, think, believe about ourselves, our lives, living, giving, receiving, and love in our last days and the days that come after without us.

When Ivy’s not volunteering, she’s at Kennedy High School where she’s been an outcast since the summer before the school year began… when her best friend, Vanessa was murdered in the woods. Vanessa, an aspiring actress, was, from Ivy’s point of view, a great best friend. She’s a loyal friend and also a broken human being trying to find herself (so say we all), dealing with self doubt and body image issues, all while battling diabetes.

Before Vanessa is murdered, Ivy understandably thinks the diabetes will be the cause of Vanessa’s premature death. After Vanessa’s death, because Ivy was the last person to see Vanessa, everyone thinks she knows who the killer is and isn’t saying anything. Hence being shunned by essentially the entire town, including Vanessa’s twin brother, Mitch (time of death: sixty-one years from now). Not only do we experience Ivy’s everyday school life, but we get to see it as she’s still mourning the death of her best friend, still very much aware of the empty desk next to her in each class, and dealing with no one in school talking to her because of what they think rather than what they know. Ah, high school.

Ivy thankfully finds a friend in the new girl, Amanda (time of death: eighty-two years from now). Amanda’s a foster kid and she is struggling to be the hero of her own story. It’s war in her mind as she cuts herself and dreams of taking her own life. I wish we got more interaction between Ivy and Amanda. Part of me says that I would have given anything for a scene of Ivy and Amanda hanging out after school or on a weekend Ivy’s off from work. But Amanda is the type of friend that you relate to in so many unspoken ways and you see at very distinct times and specific moments in your life and that is completely okay. So as much as I wanted more, the other part of me gets it and I like it. There’s so much depth in the dark spaces and silent moments and Amanda’s life (and life-span) gives us an arc, a hope to hold onto. I love that Ivy and Amanda connect so deeply in Ivy’s last days while saying so little. The two take such small steps that are really truly giant leaps.

Then there’s Brent, football star, Vanessa’s boyfriend and Sheriff Allen McCork’s stepson. I love that he keeps his distance but not for the same reasons that every else does. This development is so curious, so intriguing, so compelling, and I especially enjoyed watching how his storyline unfolded.

Finally, there’s Myers, Ivy’s on again off again boyfriend (time of death: sixty-six years from now). He graduated high school the previous school year and is currently working locally. I don’t want to say too much about him either for the same reasons that I mentioned above about Brent. Long story short, I loved the dynamic between Ivy and Myers and their relationship arc over the course of the novel.

When Ivy’s not volunteering or at school, she can also be found working as a dishwasher at her Uncle Nick’s diner, alongside her exhausted mother, Annie (time of death: thirty years from now), lively godmother, and a small intimate staff that makes working at the diner Ivy’s home away from home. When she’s ready to head home, we follow Ivy to a trailer park where Vanessa’a family used to live and where Ivy continues to live with her mom (an aspiring writer) and not so ambitious older sister, Lorna, a cam girl (time of death: fifty-seven years from now). Ivy’s father abandoned the family many years ago. Ivy’s mother is still broken hearted. Understandably so. I love that in Ivy’s last days, she not only holds tight to her mother and sister and cherishes every moment as much as she can but she reminds them both what’s worth cherishing, what’s worth fighting for while you still have the time to do it.

My favorite member of the household though is actually the family parrot, Spencer Hille. Birds are my favorite animals. Cats are number two. So to say that I was elated when a (talking!) parrot made its way into a YA book (most pets are cats and dogs in the books) is an understatement. Spencer brought such a light to the darkness in this story. I loved it. Also quite humorous, if we’re talking about entertaining nuggets, are the things that Ivy wishes to do to other people that she despises because she knows they won’t die until xyz. Ha! Because after all, in the greater scheme of things, you’ll live. Anyway…

Gardenia has some of the most dynamic and captivating characters and relationships that I’ve read in a long time. And one of them is going to die on the same day as Ivy. This revelation in the book made for a very thrilling and suspenseful read. Because already we’ve been asking ourselves who Vanessa’s killer is. Now add to that, how will Ivy and someone she loves die on the same day? As the story continues to unfold, it turns out that Vanessa’s killer is after Ivy. I did correctly predict who the killer was, once Ivy got a note from the killer, indicating that they were onto her. And I was still able to enjoy the rest of the story because at the time of my prediction, I couldn’t even believe my own guess. That and the writing is just absolutely gorgeous.

The story gradually becomes a wild maze of gardenias that leads to truth coming to light and Ivy’s loved ones finally being able to begin to live their best lives because of it. I love that all of Kelsey’s YA work that’s been published so far speaks so much on life and death and what it means to live. I love how mundane Ivy’s life is and how she doesn’t try to fight it in her last days. She has hopes and dreams like everyone else but she still sees the beauty in all that surrounds her. It’s easy to forget. But I guess with a timer on your forehead, you can’t. I love how extraordinary Ivy’s life is, a life that someone from the outside looking in might just see as ordinary. If you only knew.

One of my favorite moments in Gardenia takes place at the high school when Ivy’s drama teacher explains during auditions, what the latest school play is about. The play that the drama teacher himself wrote. Ivy takes a step back, having taken in the words of his explanation so much more deeply than all of the others. It’s such a raw moment and I can’t wait for you to get to it when you read the book so you can appreciate my gushing here. I’d totally read Ivy’s drama teacher’s play.

From October to December or more specifically, to the opening night of the play, we follow Ivy on a fascinating journey as she finds closure in her best friend’s death. We follow Ivy deep into the night, to her secret place as she retreats on nearby train tracks and paints her greatest affirmations that will ride around the town longer than she will. As she gives herself an unending road in a life where everywhere she looks, she sees an end.

We follow Ivy as she turns to people close and not so close to her in her last days and gives them everything she has, hoping that they will truly see all that she has to give. What a gift to give. Gardenia is a pure and haunting story about the beauty in our hopes and desires, our vision of the world, and how we choose to spend our time and live in each and everyday because of that vision. That flower blooming or that flower dying. Us choosing to water it or not. What happens when we’re not consistent in doing so. What happens when we are. What happens when what grows isn’t good for us. And so on. Long story short, I loved Gardenia so, so much and I hope you will too.

Favorite Lines:

• “There wasn’t enough time to fight for you.”
• I give the old, dying woman something that is part lie, part truth, as most things are. “I’m gong to live.”

• “I know making plans seems terrifying. I do. But if we don’t make plans, what’s the point of having time?”

Gardenia by Kelsey Sutton releases February 28, 2017.