I’m not a romantic. Never have been. Which is funny because I love a good rom-com. But that’s not why we’re here today.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.
I have two very distinct memories of Valentine’s Day, both of which occurred in middle school and greatly impacted me.
The day after my twelfth birthday (which is January 31st), my parents separated and my mother and two sisters temporarily moved into my Nana & Papa’s home (the home of my mother’s parents). I started school a few days later. I wasn’t a fan of my new predicament. It was a small school and the new girl was all that anyone could talk about in the halls. Which is funny because only three people actually approached me. Two boys to ask me out (umm no, I don’t even know you eww) and one girl who invited me to smoke illegal substances with her and her friends after school (that’s awfully kind of you but no thanks).
As Valentine’s Day approached, the weight of my loneliness hit my like a freight train. Not because I didn’t have a boyfriend. I never wanted one. Days had passed since I started at my new school and I still had not made one friend. Love was in the air and the holiday spirit was buzzing louder than a broken beehive and I was so overwhelmed by it all that I was actually physically sick on the morning of Valentine’s Day. I didn’t go to school. Instead, I watched a couple get married on Live with Regis and Kelly, listened to the ladies of The View no doubt talk about stuff that was inappropriate for me to hear, read To Kill A Mockingbird again. I had soup and crackers and ginger ale. I took a nap. I never take naps but I did that day. That wasn’t a good day for me. But then I went to school the next day.
I lugged my backpack to my locker, the whole way down the hall wondering if anyone knew why I wasn’t there the day before. I turned the lock on my locker, put my backpack down, and opened the locker. To my surprise, a carnation was in my locker. Remember when students would come into classrooms during the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, selling carnations to students who wanted to give them to their friends and flings?
A stranger bought a carnation for me.
It wasn’t until the next day that I found out it was a girl named Brittany who bought the carnation for me. Turns out I had a friend after all. I will never forget that small act of kindness. I don’t think she’ll ever know how much that meant to me. That small act meant so much to me. It meant I wasn’t alone. It meant I mattered as more than another piece of school gossip. It meant that someone cared. It meant so much and I’m so thankful so on Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to reach out to someone you normally wouldn’t reach out to.
Buy someone a carnation.
For the book lover,
Press it down,
Dry it out,
Make a bookmark out of it.
Write “You Are Loved” on the other side.
The second memory is a tradition that began the following year. It was the second year that my mom was a single mom of three kids and boy did she have a surprise for us. This year, I went to school and while I did feel a little bit better than I had felt the year before, I still wasn’t taken with the holiday. But then I got home with my younger sister, my older sister would be arriving from high school later. When we go to the door leading to our floor, it was decorated. “That’s sweet,” I thought. We opened the door to head down the stairs and the stairwell was decorated a bit as well. “Whoa, what do we have here?” I thought. At the bottom of the stairs, if you turned left, you’d see the kids den and if you turned right, our bedrooms were down the hall. Well, we turned left and the entire den was decked out, I mean decked out in Valentine’s Day decorations with balloons and streamers included. I had never seen anything like this before in real life. Imagine that scene in Elf after Buddy decorates the mall but instead of Christmas decorations, it was Valentine’s Day decorations and I was standing in the middle of that work of art. This time, I didn’t pick up To Kill A Mockingbird for my late afternoon reading. I picked up one of the many Chicken Soup for the Soul books lying around instead.
My mom was my Valentine.
Celebrate your family on Valentine’s Day.
The tradition is less extravagant but still very much present and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. So often, we think about the love interests in our lives or our single friends or Netflix on this holiday but that day, my mother reminded me that she cares for me and she loves me and she’ll always be there for me, including this day that is so full of cliche and engagements and weddings and full restaurant reservations, this day that so often gets overshadowed by one kind of love. Thanks, Mom!
I haven’t picked up To Kill A Mockingbird in years. It’s one of my favorite books but the copy that I have holds such memories. I know where I was at when I read it, each time I re-read it. I know what I was feeling. I don’t want to hold that anymore. I also haven’t picked up any Chicken Soup for the Soul books. I don’t even know if they still publish those. I have picked up plenty of books since though and I want to share a few with you today.
I’m not often moved by romance though a few of the titles below have managed to move me so I highly encourage you to check them out. Some titles deal with the love of family and the bond between best friends. Three of the books listed, I have not read but I plan to read them all this month, beginning with I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson this weekend. I can’t wait.
For fellow book lovers, I’d recommend getting any of the below books as well as finding out where Jenis Ice Cream is sold near you so you can put a pint on top of the book before you hand it over to someone you care about. Alright, so…
Delirium by Lauren Oliver is first on my list for many reasons, reasons you can read about as I detail the love lessons I learned here. Also, check out…
These Broken Stars by Amie Kaufman & Meagan Spooner
Everyday by David Levithan
Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi
Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins
The Distance Between Us by Kasie West
Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares
I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson
