I am so happy to finally be discussing Fall For Anything as part of the Courtney Summers Read Along, hosted by Lost at Midnight! The Read-Along was last fall but better late than never! Be sure to check out Ciara’s posts here, here, and here. I’ve intertwined my responses to her posts in my book review below.
Fall For Anything by Courtney Summers
Release Date: December 21, 2010
Publisher: St. Martin’s Griffin
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
ISBN: 0312656734
Source: Bought
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When Eddie Reeves’s father commits suicide her life is consumed by the nagging question of why? Why when he was a legendary photographer and a brilliant teacher? Why when he seemed to find inspiration in everything he saw? And, most important, why when he had a daughter who loved him more than anyone else in the world?
When she meets Culler Evans, a former student of her father’s and a photographer himself, an instant and dangerous attraction begins. Culler seems to know more about her father than she does and could possibly hold the key to the mystery surrounding his death. But Eddie’s vulnerability has weakened her and Culler Evans is getting too close. Her need for the truth keeps her hanging on… but are some questions better left unanswered?
Fall for Anything is a book you can read in one sitting but I didn’t, couldn’t because the subject matter is just so jarring. I love how Ciara described it when she said, “It’s so beautiful and broken and painful.” Yes. Yes. Yes.
I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life which sucks to write but that’s the reality of it. A neighbor of mine did commit suicide and left his family behind and on the other hand, I have also visited a loved one in the psych ward and rehab after an attempt so I’ve been on the outside and the inside of this thing on top of my own issues. I’m fine but I tell you this to say it’s always been easier for me to identify with the person who leaves rather than the people being left. So to get one perspective of the aftermath and to see how far the question of why? can drive someone after was eye opening to say the least and very much appreciative.
Having also read Some Girls Are and This Is Not A Test, I can say that Courtney Summers is hands down one of my favorite storytellers. I love her voice. The pacing is perfect. She is wildly talented and every writing ingredient of hers touches to gold. Her characters are so well crafted and developed. Her settings so real, the imagery so raw. The way she evokes so many emotions, ones you didn’t even know you had is mind blowing. Talk about story resonance. She nails it. What a talent.
Okay, so the characters…
My feelings for Eddie’s mother are difficult to admit. I wish she were stronger and I hate saying that because everyone grieves differently and for all I know, that’s as strong as she could possibly be in this situation. And still. I wish. For everyone’s sakes. Is that selfish? Expecting too much? Both?
As for Beth, Eddie’s mother’s best friend? I love, love, love that Eddie knows that Beth isn’t treating her with the same respect and care as her mother, that Beth is dismissing Eddie grieving period and almost forcing Eddie to get her teenage act together for the sake of her mother. Um hello! Her father just died. She’s not being a throwaway teenager, she’s grieving. Thank you, thank you, thank you Courtney Summers for bringing this to the surface because so many people miss this. So many people gloss over teens, expect too much from teens, think so little of teens and then wonder why they’re so broken.
Plus, Beth wants to help Eddie out how Beth wants to help Eddie out, not how Eddie needs to be helped. Two completely different things. I also want to mention that I grew up with my own Beth and unfortunately related to Eddie and Beth’s relationship all too well. Fantastic job with the execution of this type of relationship. Spot on. And thank you Summers for showing not just how Eddie, our main character is affected by her father’s suicide but how it affects everyone else, including non-family members.
Eddie’s best friend? I respect the relationship the two have but I hated that Milo wouldn’t tell Eddie what she wanted to know about that day. Not right away but not after her asking him to tell her ten million times when he already told his friend, Missy. Not cool. That information was hers to know above anyone else. I can understand that it’s troubling to tell your best friend what he told her, especially if you’re worried about how she’ll respond and yet I still can’t get with Milo keeping what he did from her. She’s the one who has to get up from the fall and it’s hard to get up and move on when your view is constricted. Part of me is mad at Milo for keeping the missing piece from her and part of me aches for Milo because he was scared.
There’s a line in the book, “I can’t tell if I’m afraid I’ll jump or I’m afraid I won’t” and Eddie might be saying it but every single character is thinking it.
Then there’s Culler. Eddie running off with her father’s photography student that she never knew her dad had, on a hunt for the final pieces of her father that he seems to have left behind felt like a natural progression to me. I didn’t find anything odd about this because while I am naive at times, I’m also very much aware of the desire to cling yourself to someone who understands during grief more than anybody else or someone with answers, good or bad and that’s exactly the situation Eddie fell into. I love that the relationship between Eddie and Culler is all about what the other does and does not have of another person. All relationships are give and take but there’s no hiding it here. At least until the end, this appeared to me to be the most honest relationship displayed. Fall for Anything is the perfect title for this book. Anything can trip you up when you’re searching, searching, searching and Eddie fell hard.
Sometimes strangers are more honest than people you know but they’re strangers for a reason and to watch Eddie go so far for answers, giving her trust on a silver platter to a stranger just broke my heart. Thankfully Culler had his limits or opened his eyes to his actions so we didn’t have to see what goes on go on any further. Again, like the other characters, part of me is upset with Culler but the other part of me understands that he’s lost too. He’s falling and is trying to help Eddie who’s falling faster. It doesn’t make what he did right. Certainly not. It does make him human. What I love most about Summers’s books is they are wonderful character studies. It’s not about what’s right or wrong, it’s about discovering what’s going on within a character, with a human being.
It’s so compelling.
Now there’s a very memorable scene for me that came with a minor character. When Eddie has to go to her father’s studio space to pick up his things, Eddie has the unfortunate task of interacting with Maggie who on the surface appears to only care about getting a dead guy’s things out so she can rent the space out again. But I don’t hate Maggie because I think there’s more to her. She might care so much that she’s conditioned herself not to. Who knows what she’s had to guard her heart against in her life. A person doesn’t end up the way Maggie does on chance and that’s what made this interaction, this scene so striking. Maggie could even not know at all how to handle herself so she may have dismissed the reality of it all to, in her mind, make it easier on everybody. There are so many reasons to explain why Maggie is acting the way that she is, I can’t just write her off.
Finally, even though Eddie is on the journey to why, I didn’t go into this book questioning why Eddie’s father did what he did. Not because I didn’t care but because I identified with Eddie’s father more than I identified with Eddie so I didn’t need what Eddie needed. I went into this book waiting for Eddie to realize and accept that the why that she may never find out is so much bigger than her. I love the line, “But eventually you have to move. Eventually you have to open your eyes.” It was emotionally exhausting watching Eddie go through this journey that led to this moment but she got there and I’m so glad she did. Most of all, without even realizing it, Eddie answered the most important question, how can she stop the cycle?, by choosing a path that won’t allow her to fall into the same path as her father. You don’t have to know why someone else chooses to do what they do for you to choose to live your best life for yourself and others. By the end she gets that and I couldn’t have asked for more. What a fantastic ending.
Fall For Anything is phenomenal. It’s one of those books that is so personal though so I definitely want to recommend it but I want to stress that this is a book that you have to be ready for. I would never want to rush someone into reading this book. To me, this is not a book you read just to cross it off your TBR list. This book would have ruined me if I had read it at two particular points in my life. I am so glad that I read this now, still not having all the answers but so much wiser than before so I can understand and appreciate what’s been presented here. This is a book that will speak so differently to everyone so I can only hope you’ll be interested in what has been written among these pages. Read Fall for Anything. You’ll know when the timing is right.
Fall For Anything by Courtney Summers is available now.